Grief and sorrow

*sigh* It seems mom is still rather sad that I'm leaving, even though she knows that I wouldn't forget her.

Acceptance is so difficult. I don't blame her for taking a long time to come to acceptance, but it does get on my nerves (a bit) to see her eyes water at the slightest. *sigh* How am I going to leave happily? Doesn't she know that not being happy for me makes it more difficult for me to leave? Is my life destined to be forever ruled by my mother? I know in time she'll get used to me not being around, until then I'll just have to try my best to make this 'transition' so painless as possible. *sigh* Because of mom, I don't really feel like going now. It really hurts to know that she is so sad about it. I know she is still trying to come to terms with it. This is really not easy, even for me. Love really makes things difficult.

At least calling her on a daily basis is very possible, now that I've discovered that calling cards in Australia can charge as low as 1.1c per minute. It was so cool finding that out but knowing her, she'll say I'm wasting money calling home daily. Well, we'll see how it goes.